Self-reliance means having the will and the courage to do things alone and to be alone rather than relying on others. This is a very powerful tool because it means that you can never feel completely alone or lost. You are the one person who will always be with you and if that is enough, then it will make a big difference and put you in a much stronger position. If you are self-reliant, then there is nothing that can be taken away from you that will leave you completely destroyed.
Ok, It does not mean that you go and live in some kind of temple and become a monk. What I mean is, relying on your strength first before waving the white flag and surrender. For most If they faced hardship, they easily give up and think it’s not for them.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself, my father died when I’m a teenager, as the eldest in the family I need to support my mum, brothers, and sister financially. I need to leave college to work, I worked as a life insurance agent, lifeguard, service crew you name it, the hardship I experienced gave me the strength to be self-reliant.
I don’t look for saviors to rescue us from the situation wherein. Being young I just went for it and push through. Thinking If I don’t do something our electricity will be cut by Meralco or there will be no food on the table.
As mentioned, true self-reliance takes courage. The ability to be alone, to take risks without a safety net and to cut ties when it best serves your interests is one that requires a certain fearlessness that not everyone possesses naturally. So for many, the first step towards self-reliance will be in acquiring that courage that makes everything else possible. And one tool for doing this is ‘fear setting’.
What is Fear Setting?
Fear setting is an idea that was made popular by Tim Ferriss in his book ‘The Four Hour Workweek’. Interestingly though, the concept really takes its cues from an aspect of ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ known as ‘thought challenging’.
For most of us, our fears come from beliefs we hold about things that could go wrong or that might happen. In the case of self-reliance, we might be afraid that everyone is going to leave us and we’ll go crazy from loneliness. Or maybe we worry that if we lose our job, we’ll end up with none to come back to.
These fears are what limit us from taking risks often and what prevents us from living to our full potential. Thus they are also a huge obstacle when it comes to achieving real self-reliance.
Fear setting is about taking these beliefs and making them less scary. You do this by writing them down and by assessing how likely they are to come to fruition. What’s more, you will also come up with contingency plans for how you would cope if they should ever happen. So for instance, if you’re worried you might end up losing your job, which happened to me a few times.
Fear setting would then be the process of thinking how you might cope. Would you lose your home? Will it be relatively easy to find work? Do you have enough in savings to survive for a few weeks?
When the company I am working for a long time went bankrupt they told us that we will be absorbed by a company for less pay. Some of my co-employees moan and made rude remarks, for me I will be losing some money.But, I prepared for this situation as I believe that you should not only rely on your job for income.
Long before this situation happened I educate myself. I read books about personal finance and how to be an entrepreneur. From Robert Kiyosaki to Tim Ferris I read them all in my spare time instead of watching T.V and spend time on Facebook looking at pictures on my newsfeed.
I started my own online business and investments. It won’t replace my job at the moment but It helps with the monthly expenses. And in unexpected times like what happened to me that our salary was reduced it acts as a cushion to soften the blow.
We all have fear, but to make that fear manageable I believe in education. What I mean by education is not college education but rather look up to people who done it and become successful. For me, I wanted to be an entrepreneur and hope one day I will leave my job because my businesses are providing everything my family needs. So, I attended webinars and read books of people who became successful in this. Being informed and educated gives us options and makes us self-reliant. Reliant on our strengths and talents.
Educate yourself so you will have the options. Whatever you want to achieve in life it’s easier now to find out because of the internet.
Use fear setting and your fears don’t seem so big – and that’s how you gain the courage to be fully self-reliant.